MUSCLES...they exist in the mind as well as in the body.
Look, it's important to understand that your psychological mind is as trainable and alterable as your muscular body.
Psycho-emotional states are nothing more than muscles inside your mind; and the ones you most often use become strongest, most accessible, and most automatic. The one's you don't use become weak, inoperable, and unaccessible.
If you want to increase strength in your patience, compassion, empathy, or even love...then you must train those muscles. And training is a conscious effort; which means this may be difficult at first.
Like a weak muscle or low cardiovascular endurance...when you first begin to develop it, it hurts, right? It feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar. And then you start to wonder if it will work or if the discomfort is even worth it. Am I wrong here?
And it's no different with your emotional muscles. Whether flexing your confidence to an uncomfortable degree or using courage beyond your normal range...it's going to feel weird and unfamiliar to you at first.
But you must stay the course and continue to improve your psycho-emotional fitness; because more than just your physical fitness...your ability to manage your mental and emotional energies affects EVERYONE you interact with.
People offer a lot of grace to those who struggle with their weight, body image, or whatever other physical attribute you can be self-conscious about; but no one is standing in line to give grace and compassion to assholes, no matter their physical appearance.
Anytime you sense yourself being an asshole, and believe me...it's gonna happen; ask yourself this question:
"How do I feel about how I feel right now?"
This is a good first step in becoming emotionally aware of and acutely in tune with yourself.
And from there, you can start using your mind to lovingly correct your behavior to create more useful, positive, and enriching psycho-emotional experiences.